The Balance BS
So I am asked all the time ‘how do you balance it all?’. Whilst I feel like a superhero for 2 seconds I am then met with a confused look when I answer ‘I don’t, Balance is Bullshit and I don’t believe in it’. The truth is I struggled with balance for years. It was like that freaking pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - no matter how hard I tried I could never find it. It tortured me for years until I had the realization it just wasn’t real for me. Sure it means different things to different people but i was trying to live like I did’t work and work like I didn’t have a family all to achieve ‘balance’.
I recall the day that I saw a piece written by Kate Northrup (goddess, subscribe to her blog there are some nuggets of gold in there). It used the metaphor of a set of scales, and it really made sense to me. You see, when you visualize balance, on a set of scales, the are perfectly still. Not tilting in favor of one side or the other, just still. We as humans are not designed to be ‘still’. And I most certainly cannot remain still, it is just not in my make up, SO HOORAY finally I understand. This balance idea is not for me.
Then I came across a terrific book called Pick Three, By Randi Zuckerberg and I felt like my world was complete. If you haven’t read it, get it now - I mean right now. This explained that you can have everything, just not all at the same time. To feel a sense of accomplishment you need to be lopsided and to do so you need to Pick Three from a list of Five key areas. Work, Sleep, Family, Fitness, Friends. Focus on just three and do them well and you will not be constantly looking at the incomplete list or feeling like you just didn’t get it all done and living with constant guilt. Set your intention. Today I will work on my fitness, work and family - nothing more than this as it will mean I am over committing. And just like that after a gym session, time with the kids and a full day of work you have done all you set out to do. It takes the overwhelm away and sets a clear focus. Trust me, I have changed many a mother and business leader’s life with referring them this book. Accountant by day, therapist by night.
So when you are next inhaling that block of chocolate because you just can’t get your life together, or you missed the kids assembly, forgot your husband’s birthday, haven’t talked to your parents for weeks, can’t recall the last time you talked to your best friend and feel you are doing 100km in reverse STOP, go easy on yourself and pick three, not one hundred and three you over achiever you!! You will be amazed at how much better you feel when you reduce the list and give your brain some space.
And if you are still struggling drop me an email, I will help you chunk, pick and cull your way to a happier life.
It’s not about Balance - save that word for Disney.